Rollerball - Lea Wright
The red rollerball perfume I bought
Adorns the name: Very Good Girl,
With floral notes and what safari calls
A seductive heart of rose.
Two years ago my friend
(Outgoing, bad kisser, oblivious fool)
Said people are more like their ascendant than their sun
And claimed that’s why I’m not as bold as I ever should be.
I toy with my hair in the mirror at 3 in the morning
Open wounds etched over my legs
like tree bark
Long ignored, glossed over, bookmarked
As I’m busy ogling the girl I’ve come to hate.
She’s my distorted view of perfection
And I am her foil.
Her muse, her opposite, her exact replica.
We both howl into the night like we’re no better than lonely dogs tied outside.
When I was a kid,
I waited for the other girls to fall asleep before me during parties, sleepovers,
Because I heard them conspiring about playing tricks on those who fell asleep first
So I stayed up, the watch guard, the vigilante
And I woke up last and missed breakfast.
I’ve never trusted a woman, and I’ve never considered a man safe.
I stay in my corner, sharpening sticks
And I stash them like thorns in my white fishnets
And I put on my Good Girl perfume
And I move with a practiced persona
Who never moves too close to anyone
And who always memorizes the exit.
3/20/23