sarah-squirrel-audrey-ximuy-erion

Sarah Squirrel would begin her day unlike any other. Reeking. From dawn till dusk babies wept and grandmothers kneeled over when she would enter a room. Even flies started protecting their maggots from Sarah Squirrels fumes. Nobody could remember her original colors for it had been long buried under thick layers of radioactive green mold. Her hot breath was so viscous her mouth appeared as nothing more than a deep void. The residents of her tree had even gathered to pass laws alerting citizens when she left her room. Her fellow rodents had begun to wonder if Sarah Squirrel had a secret water allergy.

“Surely not!” they cried.

Just below their tree was a lovely river filled with only the most quenchable of liquid. It had to be a choice. The rodents began to wonder if they could secretly push Sarah Squirrel into the rushing water, but nobody wanted to get close enough. The closest they ever came was Mary Mouse, who was tragically consumed by the mold. All they could recover were her green fuzzy bones.

Mr. and Mrs. Woodpecker unfortunately lived right above Sarah Squirrel. They had finally reached their limit and began to pack their bags.

“The stench is in our vents!” Mrs. Woodpecker bawled into her husband’s gloved feathers. “My great grandpecker passed this hole down to my mother, who passed it down to me. Sarah Squirrel’s funk must be stopped!”

With that, Mr. and Mrs. Woodpecker flew off, green smokey ribbons trailing behind them.

From below them worms wiggled in anguish.

“The mouth bacteria from her ceaseless slurping is poisoning the soil!” was what one could assume was being said through interpretive wiggling. Each worm that attempted escaping to the surface was swiftly gobbled by nearby birds regardless.

Despite never touching the river water, everyday a new dead fish floated to the surface. If their corpses could talk they would be pretty upset. Their lifeless glubbing was only one of many neighborly complaints.

What was one to do about Sarah Squirrel?

Sally Skunk, an expert in masking stink, tried to introduce Sarah Squirrel to mints. Poor Sally Skunk was left blinded by the endeavor. The bacterial growth in Sarah Squirrels breath ate through poor Sally Skunk’s cornea and down to her optic nerve. Forever reminding the neighborhood to not get too close.

Penny Possum left for the sewers many years ago, claiming that at least their garbage was disposed of. She had attempted to spray deodorant on Sarah Squirrel, but it was no match for Sarah Squirrel’s musk. The mountains of trash in her nest have a nice trim of empty spray bottles coating the floor.

Finally there was Rosey Racoon, poor Rosey Racoon was Sarah Squirrel’s only friend. She was an unfortunate enabler in the garbage problem, but at least kept Sarah Squirrel away from everyone else.

“Please Sarah!” She’d plead. “You must take a bath! The neighbors are tortured by your smell!”

But Sarah Squirrel refused. Her stink had grown so thick her body was obscured to a mere silhouette. Rosey Racoon did everything in her power to stop the smell from consuming her dear friend, but it was too late! The smog had begun to vaporize every hair off Rosey Racoon’s body, leaving her smooth and naked. The neighbors say that Rosey Racoon’s soul is still trapped within those foul walls.

But what happened to Sarah Squirrel?

Unfortunately for the animals of this tree environmental restrictions were not in place. From the human town, a nearby crew of lumberjacks came to investigate a tree. A tree that was apparently so rotten and sick it had begun to poison the entire forest. Its leaves were not just wilted, but disintegrated with a slight breeze. Piles of animal corpses hid the roots, not even wolves wanting to feast on their remains.

With three quick chops the tree fell. Sarah Squirrel’s stinky soul was released from her poisonous prison. The putrid air had consumed her very essence, and like a fart in the wind she blew away.