Past and Future - Teo Nefliu

              David stares at the ceiling tiles above him. The bright fluorescent lights create a halo around his vision, and his eyelids grow heavy. The past week, his brain has been drudging up old memories, and now the sleepless nights are beginning to catch up with him. The muffled gurgling of the electric kettle and the stiff, scratchy couch beneath him beckon him to lie down and close his eyes. His limbs feel like cement bricks, and he nearly gives in to the pull when the familiar click of the kettle snaps him awake as the water stills. 

                          He rubs a tired hand over his face, “Tea’s ready!” 

                          “One moment!” a voice calls from the room outside. 

              David heaves himself up and walks to the old metal locker against the far wall, where he pulls two mugs, two packets of tea, and a handful of sweetener packets stolen from the cafeteria. He prepares the tea on a stack of cardboard boxes, pouring most of the sweeteners into one mug and the remaining two in the other. He returns to the couch with the mug that consists of more sugar than actual water and carefully sips on his tea, lazily glancing around the room. 

              The room is small. It used to be a storage closet, long abandoned by the previous medical examiner, and it was Dr. Thomas’ idea to refurbish it into a secret break room. They somehow managed to squeeze in the couch and a matching armchair opposite it, both also stolen from the rec rooms on the upper floors. Various boxes of old medical supplies act as their tables and fill up every empty corner. There isn’t much walking space left over, just enough to move past the couch and stand at their makeshift counter. Their “coffee table” sits flush with the armchair, and if he wanted to, David could stretch out and use the chair as a footrest. Instead, he rests his feet on the table, staring at the shapes the lights make in his tea. 

              “You won’t believe what I just found!” A harried woman walks into the room, stepping over David’s legs and waving around a small box in her hand. Her grey-streaked brown hair is tied back into a ponytail, with her glasses perched on her head. Her excited smile emphasizes the crow’s feet around her eyes. 

                            “What?”

              Dr. Thomas picks up her mug and expertly climbs into the armchair without spilling her tea, tucking her legs underneath her. “I was just cleaning out my desk when I found these!” She sets the box down by his feet with a flourish. “My old tarot cards!” 

              David sits up straight and raises an eyebrow at the box. “Tarot? Gotta say, doc, I didn’t peg you as the spiritual type.” 

              Thomas swallows a sip of her tea. “Oh, I’m not. But my mother was a practicing psychic, and she taught me how to read palms and tarot from a young age.” She shrugs, setting down her mug. “I mostly read for fun, although it’s been a while.” 

              David leans forward, watching as she slips the cards out of the box, splits them in half, and shuffles them. The cards flowed smoothly through her hands. Every couple passes, she pulls out a card and lays it face up, stopping once she has five cards on the table; the Eight of Cups, the Three of Swords, the Devil, and the Seven of Swords face her, and the Hermit faces him. David glances up at Dr. Thomas, who has pressed her lips together in an annoyed line. “What? What do they mean? Is it bad?” 

                          “Hm? Oh, no, they’re just being pissy.” Thomas waves her hand dismissively. David frowns. “The cards?” 

              Thomas nods. “Mom always told me that each deck has its own personality, and if you don’t treat your cards right, they’ll lie and make fun of you, or just give you attitude.” “Really?” 

                            She shrugs. “It’s probably just superstition, but I have had cards tell me the same thing in wildly different tones, so maybe there is some truth to it.” 

              David leans back against the couch and takes a sip of tea, nodding towards the five cards “So what? Did this deck cuss you out or something?” 

              “In a way. Each card can hold multiple meanings.” Thomas picks up the Devil card and faces it towards him. It depicts a man and woman with chains wrapped around their neck that are held by a goat-like figure whose horns circle around an inverted pentagram. “For example, the Devil can mean addiction, obsession, sex, or toxicity. However, in this case, I think it means anger. But if you reverse it.” She turns the card upside-down. “It means the opposite. Usually. Some cards are special cases. And it all depends on the context and the surrounding cards, or even who is reading them.” The card is returned to the table. 

              Thomas then points to the rest of the cards. The first shows a cloaked figure walking away from a stack of cups. “The Eight of Cups represents leaving a situation. The Three of Swords,” three swords sticking out of a heart, “represents heartbreak. Then we have the Devil, anger. The Seven of Swords,” a man is sneaking away with an armful of swords, “is betrayal. And the Hermit in the reversed position,” a cloaked man with a beard and a tall staff with a lantern, “can mean feeling lost, or without a guide. So overall, the deck is upset that I haven’t used it for a while.” 

                            “Huh.” David stares at the cards. “Are they usually this on the nose or?” 

              Thomas chuckles, sipping at her tea. “Oh, definitely not. But sometimes you get lucky.” David nods as Thomas shuffles the cards back into the deck. 

                            “You want a reading?” 

                            He nearly chokes on his tea. “What? No. I- no.” 

                            “Why not?” 

                            “I’m perfectly fine not having some pieces of cardstock reveal all my secrets.” “Then I can read your future.” 

                            David scoffs. “I think I can tell you what my future is.” 

                            Thomas rolls her eyes. “You don’t know that.” 

                            “I signed my soul away to this place. I think I know.” 

                            “You don’t know that.” She says sternly, leaning back in her chair. “Besides, even if you do, there are still things you don’t know. For example,” she smirks, “I could tell you what could happen between you and a certain scientist?”

              David glares at her, ignoring the heat that rises to his face. “There’s nothing between me and anyone.” He finishes the rest of his tea and pretends not to notice Thomas’ unimpressed look. “But, fine. Whatever. You can give me a reading.” He watches her smile grow. “But, nothing about any scientist. Or anyone. Because there’s nothing there in the first place.” 

              “No promises,” she chuckles and starts shuffling through her cards. The first card she pulls has a skeleton in armor astride a white horse, holding a flag with a white flower. It’s Death. Now it’s David’s turn to look unimpressed. “Gee, I could have told you that.” Thomas rolls her eyes. “It doesn’t actually mean that you’ll die. It means rebirth. Or a situation ending.” 

                            David hums. “I like my meaning better.” 

                            “I’m sure you do.” 

              The next card Thomas pulls causes her to wrinkle her nose. David glances at it. The Tower. He looks back up at her. “That look isn’t reassuring.” 

              “It’s not bad,” she tries, “It’s just that–” She absently flips the cards back and forth in her hands.” Look, no card inherently has a bad meaning, whether or not it’s reversed. The Tower, however… has a reputation. It means that there’s going to be a life-changing moment. And because people don’t tend to like change, they don’t really like this card.” “Should I be worried?” 

                            “It depends on the rest of the cards, but I doubt it.” 

              David nods slowly. They sit silently for a couple minutes as Thomas pulls out three more cards: the Eight of Wands, the Six of Cups, and the King of Swords reversed. She hums to herself as she looks them over. “Looks like someone from your past will be making an appearance soon.” 

                            “What? Who?” 

              “Not a good someone.” She points to the King of Swords. “He’s smart but manipulative. Calculative. Everything he does is to serve his own desires.”

                            David frowns. “Okay? Sure. But how can that happen? We don’t exactly get visitors here.” 

              Thomas shrugs. “ I don’t know. Can you think of anyone who it could be, though?” He looks down at the empty mug in his hands. There are few people he would categorize as manipulative. Maybe a couple of his commanding officers back when he first enlisted, though no one really stood out. 

                            David shakes his head. “Maybe the cards are wrong.” 

              “Maybe…” Thomas stares intently at the cards. “You’re sure there isn’t someone from your childhood?” He shakes his head. “Maybe it’s something? With the Tower and Death, there could have been a big event you haven’t put to rest yet.” 

              He’s about to shake his head again when he’s flooded with those old memories, and his grip tightens around the mug. 

                            Thomas notices. “Is there?” 

              David shifts in his seat, crossing an ankle over his knee and forcing himself to relax. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t classify it as a ‘big event’.” 

                            “Was there someone specific that you remember being a part of it?” 

                            “Not really.” 

              Thomas hums and shuffles through the cards, pulling out the Four of Cups and the Five of Wands. “Whatever it was, it doesn’t seem like you were a part of the main action. You just had to deal with the aftermath.” 

              He shrugs. Thomas rolls her eyes and pulls two final cards before setting the deck on the table. David groans when he sees the Lovers card. “Please don’t tell me that that means what I think it means.” 

              “It doesn’t have to.” She points to the other card. “With the Five of Swords reversed, it probably just means reconciling with that person and coming together in peace.” David scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

                          “Hey, you don’t have to believe in it.” Thomas leans back in her chair. “And like I said, there are different ways to interpret the cards.” 

                          “Maybe tarot just isn’t my thing.” 

                            Thomas shrugs. “Maybe.” She starts gathering the cards. 

                          “What?” David starts, “No more predictions?” 

                            She chuckles. “You obviously don’t care for it. Unless you do want a reading about that scientist?” 

              David glances away. Thomas smiles, sliding the cards back into their box. She grabs her cold cup of tea and climbs out of the armchair. “Don’t worry about your reading.” She chuckles at his confused look. “I don’t care that you don’t want to talk about it. But there is always some truth in what the cards say. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you need to work through it. Whether or not it’s with the person you have an issue with.” 

                            “There isn’t anything bothering me.” 

              Thomas raises her hands. “Just in case there is. You need to allow things to be put to rest. At the very least, it’ll allow you to get a full night’s sleep for once.” 

              She walks out of the room, leaving David to gawk after her. He stares at the empty doorway, mulling over her words. It’s easy for her to say, to let go of what happened in the past. But if it had, he wouldn’t be where he is now. Which, in hindsight, isn’t all that great. 

              He groans and leans forward, putting his face in his hand, rubbing his eyes so hard spots form in his vision. It wouldn’t hurt to try, he supposes. At the very least, it’ll be better than trying to live off the constant supply of cheap tea and coffee.